Focused On The Heart?

K, so there I was just in the car listening to whatever my brother had in the CD player, and (to make along story short) I ended up worshipping to an Evanescence song!!! Totally! I was singing from such a deep place...It just seemed so raw, such a real message in her words!

I will share it with you!

"Tourniquet"
i tried to kill the pain; but only brought more
i lay dying ; and i'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
i'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am i too lost to be saved; am i too lost?

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

do you remember me; lost for so long
will you be on the other side; or will you forget me
i'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am i too lost to be saved; am i too lost?

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation (x2)

i want to die!!!

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation (x2)

my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will i be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide

So, after reading it can you see how real she is...Sure she may not have it all RIGHT, but who does? And Christ is our REAL suicide...We are to sacrifice ourselves so he might live in us!! The revelation...

I was reading this thing by Moby the other day and he was saying that he doesn't understand how anyone can truly be confident in their salvation...To the extent that we are to be working it out everyday according to Christ. I think he is right...I choose to believe that i am saved under the blood and love of our Lord, but also I always wonder what will judgment day bring. I know I don't live fully for him, I still do love the world. And I hate that fact, but I have to be real about it. And just trust that he is more focused on my heart!

So yes, the thinking about stuff has arrived!!! And Evanescence is more anointed then perceived!! I was so having a Spirit-to-Spirit with God during that song!!!

Speak now...

So I've learned something recently...Sometimes when things are weighing down on your heart...even good things you just need to speak!!

I've had some things on my heart for a long time, and recently i decided i just needed to speak now or forever hold my piece. I spoke, and things are looking up. It took months for me to do it, and boy was that tough...it was weighing so hard on me, but i did it. I spoke. And now i know where things are at. Communication Baby...it can be a VERY good thing. It gets us to where we need to go.

I'm just here to thank God for the ability to speak...how much would life be hard if i couldn't speak. And sometimes i feel like I'll never get it out, but I'm always relieved when i do.

SO...SPEAK!!!

That is my two cents...if something is weighing on your heart then just go ahead and say it out loud...to God, to a friend or to the person who needs to know! My ears are always here.